My life has been so full and hectic these last few months. It seems like every time I turn the corner there is another crisis just waiting to jump on the journey that I am currently on. I suppose it might as well just join in with the rest of the crises and perhaps I can just get them all over with at one time. Even though I seem to be just trudging along at times, I know that this path that God has ordained for me is one that is meant to grow me and stretch me and perfect me. It is a path that is building my faith in Him. It is calling me to live out that faith in Him that I claim to possess. It is putting reality to what has always been my theology.
"Do you really trust me, Beth? Do you really believe that I am who I say I am and that I can do what I say I can do?"
Oh, yes, Lord. I believe. I have no doubts whatsoever that what is your intended will in any situation is exactly what will take place. No doubts.
I am unwavering in my belief system. If I didn't have full trust in my God and my Savior, I wouldn't be able to walk this walk that I am on right now. It is ONLY by His sweet merciful Hand and His generous grace that I can wake up every day and be thankful for the very breath of life that He has bestowed upon me. It is only because of that delicious daily manna that He feeds me so lovingly that I can function day after day. It is only Him.
These past months have found me coming and going so much that at times I don't know if I am packing or unpacking. My clothes just seem to rotate in and out of the suitcase to the washer and dryer and back in again. My heart is torn between so many places and so my body is weary at times from trying to be all things to all people. But Jesus is just so sweet. He has raised me up when I thought I would sink. He has carried me through when I didn't think I could. He has cradled me in His loving arms when I needed a tender moment with Him. He has empowered and strengthened and enabled me during those times that I needed Him most. It's no wonder we call Him our Savior. He truly is my saving grace and I love Him so.
My time with Him lately has been little snippets here and there during the day as opposed to my usual regulated time with Him. I have been craving some time just to sit in His presence and just let Him do His thing in my Spirit. Today was that day. I was able to just sit and be still and let Him be God. He rejuvenated my spirit in a way that only He can do. He spoke some things into my spirit that did some restoring. He allowed to me to feel His presence and to know that above all else, He is still on the Throne. He is still the God of all flesh. He is still in control. And that He still loves me very, very much.
So, as I continue on this journey of the unknown, I stand firm on what I DO know.
There is nothing that is too hard for my God. He is the author and finisher of our faith. He is the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. He is who He says He is. He can do what He says He can do. I can do all things through Christ. His Word is alive and active in Me.
And I am believing God.
Continue to pray for my sister, Cari. She has a few weeks of blood work and the dreaded waiting on results. She will see her doctor on the 4th of December and then we may have a better idea of where we are headed next. She finished her last chemo of this phase and will be headed to the stem cell transplant process soon. All in the Lord's timing.. Pray that we will continue to let Him lead us in this journey and that we will keep our focus on Him and not waver. Believing God for a miracle and for sweet VICTORY!