keep it stirred..

As I was preparing for my Sunday night class this week, I came across a quote in my commentary on the book of Nehemiah.  The quote is by General William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army and it is quite eye-opening.

"Bear in mind that it is the nature of a fire to go out;

you must keep it stirred and fed and the ashes removed"

I am not sure of the exact context of General Booth's quote, but I know when I read it I immediately thought of my Christian walk. And just how easy it is to let the fires of my devotion to God burn out. Even when I am so determined to guard against that happening. 

It is amazing how we can get our fire for the Lord burning so hot and so bright and then we just stop. We sit back and let it slowly burn down until all we have left is smoldering embers and a little bit of smoke. I have been guilty of this so many times and it just breaks my heart when I think about it. I can be on fire one minute and flameless the next. 

As I read this quote today, I felt the conviction fall on me immediately. My fire is certainly not burning as hot as I desire it to burn. And it is no ones fault but my own. I have no one to blame but myself. 

You see, our Christian walk is in need of constant maintenance. We have to keep those fires stirred up and fed. We have to keep those ashes removed so they don't quench the flames. We must be purposed in our pursuit. And we must be pursuing Him daily. Once we find Him, we don't just go about our business and neglect Him. We must keep feeding that fire that burns within our souls so the flame never goes out!

We must stay in the Word! It is of the utmost importance that we feed ourselves from the precious and Holy scriptures daily. The Bread of Life is truly what nourishes our souls and we must partake of it on a regular basis. If we don't feast on it every day a little bit of our fire goes out. If we don't eat the Word we will starve that fire and it will have nothing to keep it stoked. 

I love the Word of God and I love the study of the scriptures. And I know that no matter how much time I spend communing with my Father through His Word, it is never enough. I want more.  He deserves more. 

There are so many things that tend to distract us from the things that are most important. There is nothing wrong with reading a book or playing a game or watching television. Unless those things are keeping you from spending time with Jesus. Unless those things are contrary to the teachings of Christ. Unless those things are unspiritual, unholy or ungodly. 

I needed this reminder today that I need to be putting most of my energy and most of my time into eternal things. My first priority has to be my Savior. I need to be more purposed in my pursuit of Him. I need to be more determined to be like Him. I need to be more diligent in keeping my fire for Him burning bright and hot. He has to come first in my life. 

I have a new desire in my heart to strive harder to be like Jesus. To love like Him. To minister like Him. And to be about my Father's business. I want to keep myself stirred up inside so I shine for Him all the days of my life.

"Wherefore, beloved, seeing that

ye look for such things, be

diligent that ye may be found of Him

in peace, without spot, and blameless."

(2 Peter 3:14)

do we truly see?

"And he stooping down, and

looking in, saw the linen cloths lying; 

yet went he not in; "

(John 20:5)

In this verse, the verb 'saw' is from the Greek word 'blepo'. It means to glance in; to look in; to give a passing glance.

John is quick to tell us in this passage that he outruns Peter to the tomb but as he approaches it, he only gives it a cursory glance. He just kinda stoops over and looks in very quickly and doesn't really take notice of what he is seeing. Are we, as Christians, guilty of this at times? Do we pass by God and barely give Him a glance? Do we just look in as we walk by and then continue on our way? How many times do we not only treat Him in this manner, but His precious Word as well? We are so busy in our daily lives, that we tend to give God what is left over and not the first fruits.

"Then cometh Simon Peter following him, 

and went into the sepulcher, and seeth

the linen clothes lie, and the napkin, that 

was about His head, not lying with the

linen clothes, but wrapped together in a

place by itself"

(John 20:6-7)

In verse 6, we notice the verb 'seeth' which is from the Greek word 'theoreo'. It means to carefully consider; to observe closely.

Peter gave the tomb a little more than just a cursory glance, but he still didn't give it a lot of thought. We, too, can be guilty of this type of 'seeing' as well. We can carefully consider Christ and still have no real revelation of who He is. We can observe the Word closely and still not have a personal and intimate relationship with Him. We can go through the motions of a Christian walk but fail to develop an intimate and deep knowledge of who He truly is. 

It's not just knowing about Christ that makes our relationship personal, it's having a knowledge of Him. We have to know Him in the deepest sense of the word. We can know a lot about something but have no true experiential knowledge of the subject. There is a huge difference between knowing about and knowing personally. Christ desires that we know Him in the most intimate way possible. He is to be our everything. He is to be the most important thing in our lives. He wants to be our all-in-all.

"Then went in also that other disciple, 

which came first to the sepulcher, and

he saw, and believed"

(John 20:8)

The verb 'saw' in this verse is from the Greek word 'eidon' which is the act of beholding; to perceive with intelligence; comprehension that leads to believing.

We can have a faith based strictly on evidence, but then we really don't have faith, do we? Our faith in Christ has to be based solely on the Word of God and nothing else. That is what Jesus tried over and over again to cultivate in His disciples. A faith based strictly on their knowledge of the Word. Their knowledge of who He said He was. After all, He was the Word.

They never could seem to grasp it until after the resurrection and then they finally got it. John 2:22 tells us that they remembered what He had said and they believed the scriptures.  Down the road, the Holy Spirit confirmed their faith through the knowledge of the Old Testament scriptures. Too bad they didn't truly get it while He was still on the other side of the Cross.

We need to guard ourselves so we don't become guilty of this as well. Lets not be too busy with our own agenda to really take a close look at our Lord. We need to be beholding Him daily. We need to be closely observing Him. Giving Him more than just that small inattentive glance. We need to be carefully looking at Christ with comprehension of His Holiness and His Sovereignty. We need to do whatever it takes to really know Him. 

That very evening, after they had been at the tomb, they met the Master. He had indeed risen, just as He said He would. The passing glances now became a sure knowledge of what they were witnessing. Jesus had fulfilled what He had promised. Our sweet Lord always keeps His promises. He is just waiting for us to begin seeking Him with all of our hearts so that we can see Him with eyes wide open and truly know that He is God.

hanging on....

It has been a long 11 days since my sister came into the hospital for her stem cell transplant. It is one of those procedures where everyone follows the same basic pattern leading up to it and in the days following, but after the infusion of cells, everyone has different reactions to it. Cari received her high dose Melphalan on Tuesday, April 23rd. And then the next day they infused 2 bags of her own stem cells - 6 million total. April 24th was the day we deemed 'new life' for her. Then the waiting game began. It seems like this cancer journey is one big 'hurry up and wait' party. 

She did something called 'cryo therapy' an hour before the chemo, during the chemo and for an hour or so after the chemo. This is basically keeping ice and other cold items such as popsicles in your mouth constantly during that period of time. This therapy greatly reduces the likelihood of something called mucousitis setting in and causing sores in your mouth, throat and digestive tract. That and a lot of prayer has proved to be successful. Other than a little tingling and a metallic taste in her mouth, she has had no sores at all. Praise The Lord for that! Small victories that are cause for huge celebration!

Over the past 9 months, God has shown Himself mighty time and time again. There have been so many 'should haves' that didn't happen. There have been many disappointments that God turned right around into joy. He has covered and He has protected and He has delivered. And as we continue on this path of walking by Faith, I have no doubt that He is walking right beside us. And at times right in front of us, leading the way and clearing out the path that lies ahead of us. He is so good.

As of her blood work from midnight, her white count is .05 and her platelets are 41,000. She reeived 2 units of red blood last Saturday as her hemoglobin had dropped to 7.6. They expect that her counts will bottom out tomorrow and then after that they will likely hang there for a few days. We look for that day that the white counts starts building and building. As of right now, she has no immunity at all. She has virtually no white cells to fight with so she is very suseptible to infection at this point. We are very careful around her and we can't even touch her. We have to keep our distance from her in the room, and only get close enough to help unplug her and plug her back in!

She is so tired and so weak and it breaks my heart, but I know that this is a very necessary part of the process and of the path to wholeness. God has been working in her body since the day she was diagnosed, July 30th of last year. I can see the evidence of His Hand in so many areas of her life and the life of our family. I can look around and see the handiwork of God as He has lovingly ministered to my sister in her time of need. I can see His fingermarks all over the place!

How good is our God?? Oh, He is so good! His precious Word is full of Hope and Encouragment. It is full of Joy and Peace. It is full of promises that we can hold tight and cling to. 

And for now I cling to the Savior that is cling worthy. I fall face down before Him and reach out to grab hold of the hem of His garment. And I hang on until the blessing comes. 

"I love the LORD because

He has heard my appeal for mercy"

(Psalm 116:1) HCSB

"Yet He knows the way I have

taken; when He has tested me,

I will emerge as pure gold"

(Job 23:10) HCSB

Yearning of the Heart

'In the deep recesses of man's soul lies an

overwhelming yearning toward the Creator'

(A.W. Tozer)

I love that God created us to yearn for Him. To crave Him. To want to know Him intimately and personally and deeply. I love that God wants to be wanted. And I love it even more that I want Him in that way. 

I am not satisfied with the depth of my relationship with Him. I want more.  But it's not just enough to want more. I know that I have to do more to get more. I have to spend more time in His precious Word. Not just reading but digging deep. Studying. Searching. Fervently seeking new revelations. I have to be expecting an encounter. Desiring to experience Him in a mighty way.

Tozer says that " a person must know where he is before he can comprehend where he needs to be". It's knowing what the scriptures say about what the life of a Christian looks like and then striving to line our life up to that. It's about acknowledging the depth of our own sin. Our own depravity. Our failure to line up with the example that Christ set before us. And then determining to do whatever it takes to strive daily for a life of holiness. And godliness. It's about the realization that we can never be anything more than that without the grace and mercy of God. All we are and all we can be is only because of what He enables and empowers us to be through His precious Son, Jesus Christ.

How amazing is it that of all the creations of God, man is the one who gets to experience the majesty of His presence?  Our purpose on this earth is to fellowship with God and to delight in His presence. And when we do that, we desire to share that with others. In fact, we can't help but do that very thing. When we know that greatest thing in the world, it is only natural that we want others to know as well.

Our relationship with our Savior is one that must grow daily. Our spiritual walk has to be increasing in its intensity and depth if we are to ever be who God intends us to be in Him. We must cultivate a spirit of fervency in our quest to experience Him and His presence in our lives.

I am overwhelmed at the height and depth and breadth of God's love for me. And His patience and long-suffering with me. And the amount of mercy and grace He has dispensed to me in my life. He is absolutely amazing and He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

As I sit in a hospital room watching my sister get a massive dose of chemo that will wipe out her bone marrow in 24 hours my heart is heavy. But as I think about the 12 million stem cells they harvested from her 3 short months ago and think about the fact that tomorrow they will infuse them back into her bloodstream to give her new life and I am in awe of Him. I stand amazed at the wonder of who He is. And how He has carried my sister and my family on this roller coaster of a journey we have been on. 

As I ponder the sweet goodness of my Lord, I purpose in my heart to try harder to be more like  Him. I have so much room for improvement in my spiritual life and I want to please Him above all else. In the words of Tozer himself, I want to want Him. I long to be filled with more longing. I thirst to be made more thirsty still. And I desire to rest in His presence. 

I will come before Him in silence and just sit. Listening for His voice. Waiting to hear. And then I pray I will begin to see the pulsating Heart of God. And respond to it with passion.

miracles do happen

I love the recounting in the book of Mark of the woman with the issue of blood. A woman who had been in deep need of healing for 12 solid years. A woman who had been in a state of despair and defeat for a very long time. A woman who had spent everything she had seeking an answer to her problem to no avail. A woman who just needed a Healer. A Savior. Jesus.

I love that Jesus was on His way to heal another person. A little girl "at the point of death", the King James Version tells us. And as Jesus walks with her father to attend to her need of healing, this woman hears of His presence and presses in to the crowd and reaches up and touches his garment. For she knew that if she could only just touch His clothes, she would be made whole. She had that kind of faith in the Lord. The kind of faith that delivers wholeness and healing to the broken and battered. The kind of faith that brings hope.  And the scriptures tell us that immediately, she was made whole. 

As our Lord walked on His way, he felt the power leave Him. He knew that someone had touched His clothes.  And as He inquired as to who had touched Him, the woman fell down before Him and admitted to being the one. Our precious Lord said unto her, "Daughter, thy faith had made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague"

What a picture of the compassion of our Savior! What a picture of the deep love He has for those who reach out to Him in need!  This woman sought out Jesus and then took the initiative to just reach out and touch the very clothes that He wore. She sensed the greatness of His power. She just knew that He was the One who could heal her. And He did.

Oh, if we would just reach out and touch the hem of our Savior's garment! If we would just have the kind of faith that this woman had. We would be made whole and be more useful for the kingdom of God!

Why do we find it so easy to believe good things for other people? Why do we find it easy to believe that miracles happen to others, but just not to us? Why don't we believe that our Lord wants those amazing things to happen in our own lives? It is called unbelief. And it is bondage. And we have to break free from that if we are to ever live in the kind of freedom that Christ desires for us. 

You see, the word unbelief in the original Greek language is the word "apistia". It is a word that means faithlessness or uncertainty; unworthy of trust; lack of confidence in God's power.

When you look at the word in that manner, it really cuts deep. When we are guilty of unbelief, we are actually saying that we don't think that God has the power to heal us. Or save us. Or be who He is. And that is sad.

When we read the Holy Scriptures, we should read the accounts of the precious people who received healing from our Lord and embrace it! And revel in it! And we should know without a shadow of a doubt that what God did back then, He can do now! 

I love that our Savior gave us example after example of His power in the bible. He showed us over and over that He has Authority and Sovereignty. And that He can and does heal.

But the beauty of our Lord and Savior, is that even when the healing process takes time, He is there with us. If God chooses to heal over time, He walks beside you every step of the way. He never leaves us unattended. He never leaves us floundering and flailing about. He gently leads us and it is up to us to follow Him. 

As the journey of my sister's healing is still rocking on after 8 1/2 months, I can see the sweet Hand of God along the entire walk. He has been faithful and true. He has been gracious and merciful. He has been everything that He promises to be in His Word. And we have felt His presence in our lives in a huge way.  

During the 8 months of chemo, He has been good and sweet. He has brought my sister through times of uncertainty and times of pain. He has carried her and he has sustained her. He has been the refresher of her spirit and restorer of her hope. He has been there and ministered and encouraged and worked. 

As we prepare for her stem cell transplant, we are both excited and apprehensive at the same time. There are a lot of unknowns that she is facing in these next 11 days, but we know that the God who brought us to this point, will see us through. Because that is who He is and what He does.

She will enter into the hospital on April 22nd and receive IV hydration and several different medications. April 23rd she will receive a single dose of highly potent chemo called Melphalan which will wipe out her bone marrow within 24 hours. And then April 24, she will get her own stem cells infused back into her body and new life begins! We are beyond excited about finally getting to this point in her journey. We are praying that the new cells engraft quickly and begin making new and healthy cells right away! I believe that as my sister reaches up to touch the hem of her Master's garment, He is ready to reach down and say, "thy faith hath made thee whole".

We serve an awesome and faithful God. He is the God of the good times and the bad times. He is Sovereign and He is Powerful. He is our bread of Life. Our sustenance. Our strength.  And He is good.

~~~~~~

A miracle declares "God is Sovereign"

~~

Miracles are God's way of saying,
"I AM the ONE who is and is to come"

~~

Miracles are always about God's timing,

power and purpose.

~~~

Miracles are streaked and stained with God's touch - 

not always explained but always embraced!