Yearning of the Heart

'In the deep recesses of man's soul lies an

overwhelming yearning toward the Creator'

(A.W. Tozer)

I love that God created us to yearn for Him. To crave Him. To want to know Him intimately and personally and deeply. I love that God wants to be wanted. And I love it even more that I want Him in that way. 

I am not satisfied with the depth of my relationship with Him. I want more.  But it's not just enough to want more. I know that I have to do more to get more. I have to spend more time in His precious Word. Not just reading but digging deep. Studying. Searching. Fervently seeking new revelations. I have to be expecting an encounter. Desiring to experience Him in a mighty way.

Tozer says that " a person must know where he is before he can comprehend where he needs to be". It's knowing what the scriptures say about what the life of a Christian looks like and then striving to line our life up to that. It's about acknowledging the depth of our own sin. Our own depravity. Our failure to line up with the example that Christ set before us. And then determining to do whatever it takes to strive daily for a life of holiness. And godliness. It's about the realization that we can never be anything more than that without the grace and mercy of God. All we are and all we can be is only because of what He enables and empowers us to be through His precious Son, Jesus Christ.

How amazing is it that of all the creations of God, man is the one who gets to experience the majesty of His presence?  Our purpose on this earth is to fellowship with God and to delight in His presence. And when we do that, we desire to share that with others. In fact, we can't help but do that very thing. When we know that greatest thing in the world, it is only natural that we want others to know as well.

Our relationship with our Savior is one that must grow daily. Our spiritual walk has to be increasing in its intensity and depth if we are to ever be who God intends us to be in Him. We must cultivate a spirit of fervency in our quest to experience Him and His presence in our lives.

I am overwhelmed at the height and depth and breadth of God's love for me. And His patience and long-suffering with me. And the amount of mercy and grace He has dispensed to me in my life. He is absolutely amazing and He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

As I sit in a hospital room watching my sister get a massive dose of chemo that will wipe out her bone marrow in 24 hours my heart is heavy. But as I think about the 12 million stem cells they harvested from her 3 short months ago and think about the fact that tomorrow they will infuse them back into her bloodstream to give her new life and I am in awe of Him. I stand amazed at the wonder of who He is. And how He has carried my sister and my family on this roller coaster of a journey we have been on. 

As I ponder the sweet goodness of my Lord, I purpose in my heart to try harder to be more like  Him. I have so much room for improvement in my spiritual life and I want to please Him above all else. In the words of Tozer himself, I want to want Him. I long to be filled with more longing. I thirst to be made more thirsty still. And I desire to rest in His presence. 

I will come before Him in silence and just sit. Listening for His voice. Waiting to hear. And then I pray I will begin to see the pulsating Heart of God. And respond to it with passion.