"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24)
This is a prayer that should never be taken lightly. It is one asking God to carefully examine and search our hearts and our very intimate thoughts. To search them deeply and see if there is any offensive or wicked thing abiding there.
When you cry out to God with this prayer, you had better be prepared for His answer. You better brace yourself for what He will indeed reveal to your spirit. It is not a prayer to be offered up half-hearted. It is one to be lifted up in all sincerity and with a prepared and receptive heart.
He searches our hearts with His omniscience. His all-knowing and superior wisdom.A knowledge that has no bounds.
He examines us with His omnipotence. The all-encompassing. mighty and unmatched power of God.
He knows everything about us. Even the hidden things. The small and the big things. He knows the offensiveness and wickedness of our nature.
And He reveals it to us.
With the revelation comes heartache. Broken hearts responding to the brokenness of our relationship with our Savior. Once the offense comes to light, it is our responsibility as a child of the King to do something about it. We have to get all-in, or stay all-out. Because the truth of the matter is, if we aren't 100% in with God, we may as well be out.
He demands our all. He wants us to surrender everything. To honor and obey Him in all things.
Matthew 6:33 tells us to 'seek ye first the kingdom of God'.
In Mark's gospel, Jesus tells the rich young ruler to rid himself of all his possessions, take up the cross and follow Him. But it was too much. He wasn't willing to get all-in, so by default he was all-out.
One thing that strikes me in this passage of scripture is that there was the distinct possibility that if the rich young ruler had said, 'Yes, Lord, I will sell all of my possessions and follow you", Jesus could have said, 'Never mind. Don't sell everything. I just wanted to know you were willing."
Just as God had stilled Abraham's hand as he held the knife over Isaac.
He was searching their hearts. Searching for surrender. Total surrender.
Searching for their acknowledgement of His Lordship.
Searching for their willingness to confess the need for a circumcision of heart.
As I am praying and embracing this prayer, I am asking God to search my heart. I am asking Him to know my heart. I am ready to acknowledge what He reveals. Ready to take captive any offensive or wicked thing and lay it at His feet. I am ready to surrender my all. My everything.
I am jumping in with both feet. Eyes wide open to the Truth. Heart ready for Him to search and shatter if necessary. Hands lifted high so He can reach down, hold me up and begin a new work.