(my beautiful sister waiting to begin her 2nd chemo treatment)
As I walked with my sister and my mom down the quiet halls of the hospital, the first stop was the lab. The lab admissions clerks already recognize her and soon will know her by name. Sobering.
After she was finished with all the blood work, we headed to the cafeteria for a quick cup of coffee and a coke as we waited for her next appointment with her oncologist. Even as I type that word, it still surprises me. Catches me off guard a little bit and gives me a little bit of righteous anger... ha!
My morning had consisted of much time in prayer. It seems as if I talk to the Lord constantly these days. We have numerous conversations throughout the course of each day and I am consciously trying to spend much of that time in listening mode. I so desire to be 'quick to listen' as I am learning in my study of the book of James. Help me, Lord.
I depend upon the Lord for each breath I draw these days. Some mornings the reality of all this hits me like a cold and icy wind and I immediately call upon Him. He is so sweet. He quickly binds up my wounds and applies His Healing balm to my spirit. He reminds me that He is God. That He is Sovereign. And that He cares. For me. For Cari. For my mama. For us all. He cares. Thank you, Lord for that.
This morning was no different. Upon waking, I felt the dread of the day surface. Dread of facing some things that I had thus far been able to keep myself distanced from. Dread of acknowledging certain facts of this journey we are on. And as I reached for His Word and opened the sacred pages of scripture, He spoke.
"Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God
of my salvation; my God will hear me"
He will hear me. My precious Savior gave me a Word that I so desperately needed. A timely Word that my heart required. His Word is always fresh. Hot off the pages, spoken by the Holy Breath of a very Holy God.
He is so good. He takes us from strength to strength. Gives us just what we need at just the right time. Enables us. Empowers us. Walks right beside us. Oh, yes, He is so good.
Even as we embark on a journey that none of us wants to go on, He is there. He has been our provision up until now and He will continue to be that in our lives. He has given strength to us in our weakness. He has given comfort to us in our pain. He has healed. He has restored. He has been our all-in-all.
As we head to the 7th floor to see her doctor, I can feel the tension begin to rise up within and I whisper a quick plea to God. I immediately feel His peace descend upon me. I steal a quick glance at my mom and I can tell that she is fighting the same demon and I pray for her as well. Every now and then I can see the anguish on her face as she watches her daughter for signs of pain and fatigue. I can't feel or know what she is going through, but as a mother to three precious girls, I can imagine it is heart wrenching. I know as a sister, it is extremely painful to see and acknowledge. And I can see that pain in my mama's eyes of the reality of your child going through something that you can't put an end to.
After the doctor does his thing, we head to the chemo/iv infusion area of the hospital and my sister is now getting her chemotherapy treatment. My heart hurts for her having to endure this, but I am so very thankful that she is able to receive it. I am so grateful that there is something that they can do to bring her into remission. I am also so thankful for the HOPE that I see etched on her face. He is our HOPE.
From the very beginning of the journey, God gave me several Words specifically for this trial. The first one was 'New Life'. I am clinging to that promise. I am trusting Him and believing Him for a HUGE work in her life. A huge healing. A huge restoring. A huge harvest that will come from the manifestation of His glory that is to come. The second Word he gave me was VICTORY. As I stood in for her during our healing service several weeks ago and was being prayed over by one of our deacons, the tears just being pouring down my face. I could feel His presence and the sweet whisper of God's voice said, "tell Cari to turn to the last page of her journal and write the word VICTORY'. Oh, yes, Lord, I will tell her! And I did. And she did...
I am holding fast and tight to the voice of God. I am believing for a miracle and I am clinging to His precious Word every day. He will give my sister the strength she needs to walk this walk. He will carry her from strength to strength. He will provide for her as He sees her in need. He will walk beside her and He will fight for her. Because in the Christian walk we are on, No one fights alone. Praise you Jesus!!
"The LORD your God, who is going before you,
will fight for you..."
(bracelets to support Multiple Myeloma that her office at Red Ball Oxygen purchased)