I have found that many times in my christian walk, it's so much easier to 'talk the talk' than to actually 'walk the walk'. I find this a very sad revelation in my spirit and definitely don't want it to be true from this point forward.
It seems to be much easier to counsel people going through hard times with wise words from the scriptures and with evidences of our own past experiences that turned out good, than it is to actually convince our ownselves to put our problems in God's hands. To admit that He knows best. That God's perfect will for our lives will prevail if we just render control to Him. For some reason it is harder to relinquish control over OUR lives than it is someones elses...
It is certainly easy to be the picture of peace and calm when it isn't us that is going through trials. When we aren't the ones facing a grim diagnosis. When our jobs aren't at stake. It's not hard to be the voice of wisdom to someone going through a rough patch in their marriage but it is hard to face our own vulnerabilities in that area.
I find that when my children are enduring some difficult circumstances and are having a hard time perhaps finding their way in this thing we call life, I tend to be more inclined to try and solve the problems on my own and let myself get all worked up over it. My own children's troubles affect me in a very deep and heart-wrenching way. But I find I am able to more readily be the voice of positive encouragement to another mom facing this same type of conflict and have no problem directing them to lay it all at the feet of Jesus. But when it is MY kids that are troubled, I seem to try and carry the burden on my own. Go figure.
Why is it easier to believe God for others than for ourselves? Why do we think He will bestow favor on someone else and not on us? I think it has something to do with our feelings of unworthiness. Our knowledge of our weaknesses and failures. We seem to equate God's movement in our lives with our works or lack thereof and that is so wrong. God moves in our lives and it has nothing to do with whether or not we think we deserve it. We don't earn it. We aren't worthy. We can't do enough works to garner His mercy. But God loves us still. He wants good things for us. We just don't always believe Him for the big things.
I am choosing from this day forward to believe God for who He is. I believe that He is the first and the last. The alpha and the omega. The author and finisher of our faith. I believe that He can do all things. I believe that when we lay it all at His feet and turn it over to Him, that He will work for the good in our lives.
God's Word is Truth. And His Word says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
When things don't work out like I want them to. When things don't go quite the way that I thought they should. When life throws me a curve. I will believe God and I will trust Him in ALL things. I will place these things in His hands. Lay them at His feet. And then allow Him to work in my life and the life of my family as He knows is best.
"I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge
and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust"
Thank you Lord for being a God of patience and of mercy. A God of second chances. A God whose mercies are new EVERY day. I love you with all of my heart.