Friday, December 11, 2009

No Regrets?

There have been many times in my life that I have allowed regret to build a wall between me and God. I fail so often in my Christian walk and then I fail to let God apply His mercy to those failures. Sometimes it seems as if the harder I try to live a life of sanctification and holiness, the harder it is to succeed. I feel like each step I take forward results in at least 2 steps in the reverse direction.

My determination to live a life pleasing to Christ seems to bring out obstacle after obstacle. My eagerness to be all that God has called me to be seems to be an open invitation for the enemy to close in.

I feel  like I am in a constant battle against my flesh. I feel  like there is an on going war with my sinful nature.

I have learned that I have to stay alert at all times to the schemes and manipulations of the enemy. I need to be on constant guard against the mind games that satan likes to play.

But the main thing is that when I DO fail, I have to learn to forgive myself. For some reason, I find it easier to forgive others than to forgive my own self. But I have to remind myself that God applies that same precious blood to my own sin just as He does to others.

Colossians 3:13 tells us, "Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive"
That includes ourselves. When we neglect to forgive ourselves we allow regret to move into our lives. Unfortunately, when regret moves in, it brings distraction with it. And distraction moves in with a vengence bringing all sorts of baggage with it..

Our focus then becomes on what we did wrong. Our focus becomes our failure. Our focus becomes "us" instead of God. Our focus becomes regret.

Regret steals the JOY that our Father intends for us to have. Joy that comes through our salvation. Joy that comes through the shedding of that blood of Christ on the cross. Joy that comes through Jesus. Joy that Christ wants us to have!

When we repent, God wipes that slate clean. It doesn't leave behind the fingerprints of regret. Only the fingermarks of sweet mercy and forgiveness.

Oh, Father, help me to learn how to forgive myself when I fail you. Help me to lay those failures down at your feet and ask for sweet forgiveness. Help me to allow that forgiveness to penetrate deeply in my spirit and help to me bask in the Joy of knowing my sins were covered at Calvary. May I arise from the place of repentance more determined to live for You. More purposed in my walk. More passionate for my Savior. I love you Lord and I praise you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon my and my family. You are my JOY!


Melissa had a good check up yesterday. Her platelets are up to 165,000. Her hemoglobin is up to 10.0. He said when it gets to 12 - 15, then she will begin to have more energy and not be so tired. She is still a little jaundiced. Her bilirubin is still fluxuating in the 3's. It needs to come down to .4 and he said that once her other liver enzymes begin to stabalize, then that will happen. Her AST liver enzymes that were in the 300's are now 52 and almost normal. I didn't realize how sick her liver really was! She was also holding 18 pounds of fluid that is now gone.

I continue to praise God for the miracle that her performed in my child. I also am so thankful and grateful to all the prayers that everyone has lifted up on her behalf. Continue to pray. She goes back to the doctor on the 22nd and hopefully that will be the final visit!



Thena said...

Awesome testimony!! We serve an awesome God and shouldn't expect anything less. Have a great weekend!!!!!!!

petrii said...

I'm so glad that Melissa is doing better. Her and I have doc appts on the same day. We go back to Mayo on the 21st with our appt on the 22nd for my knee.

Have a Blessed weekend,

Heart2Heart said...


Lifting Melissa up in my prayers that each day she will continue to improve and gain strength. I look forward to hearing that she will be 100% when she returns to her doctor's appointment.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Anonymous said...

Firstly, Beth, I am so humbled by God's healing in Melissa's body, in her liver, in her life. Hallelujah! The numbers are truly amazing and make us realize how sick we can become and barely understand what is going on in this miraculous body!

I thank you for this post today. I needed to hear this for myself. I, far too often, fail in my walk and bop myself over the head again and again. Repenting and forgiving eventually come but it is after I have spent too long harming my spirit. I praise God for His lovingkindness towards us, His forgiveness of us. I love Him so and never want to hurt Him. It feels like how I felt last night when I did something small that made me feel like I had failed my husband. I 'should' have done better and not disappointed him. He accepted my apology with ease. God does too. The love never leaves. The issue is erased. The time is now to move on! Thank you, ~ linda

Irritable Mother said...

I once heard someone say that when we fail to forgive ourselves, it is as if we're saying what Jesus did on the cross was not good enough. Since then I have been much more quick to recieve His grace and forgiveness. So thankful for what He has done!

So thankful, too, for what He is doing in Melissa. Yes, Lord! Please let this appointment on the 22nd be the last one. We're asking for Melissa's full and complete restoration. And we're asking in the wonderful, powerful, beautiful, matchless Name of JESUS. Amen and amen!

Yolanda said...

I'm amazed each time I go before the Father with my slate He stands with this huge black board eraser and it is for ever gone.

I love ya so and am thankful for God's healing touch upon precious Melissa.

Astonished at the cleanliness of the and I. Lovingly, Yolanda

Sassy Granny ... said...

It's always humbling to hear another express their heart so authentically. No doubt the Lord hears it in much that same way.

Sometimes I just can't believe what it is that God sees in me that is so worth His undeserved, lavish love. As if in a whisper comes His reply: My Son.

So glad to be traveling this journey with you, friend.


P.S. And a huge "Thank You, Lord" for His healing touch and your daughter's progress.

Wylie said...

Praise the Lord! I rejoice in this with you!

sonja said...


Your heart comes out in these words. It blessed me to read them. I will keep praying for Melissa, for daily strength and complete recovery.

I know your family celebrates Christmas this year in a very special way. God's miracle for Melissa has touched all of us.

Blessings and love,


RCUBEs said...

Glory to God for He always makes a way! God bless and keeping your daughter in prayers for her continued recovery.

Laurencita said...

Thanks for sharing your testimony, it is an encouragement. I pray that God will heal Melissa as He is our God the Healer.

valerie said...

That's great news about Melissa. I'm so glad she is better and I'm believing when she goes back to the dr. she's going to be completely well.

Did you see that I met Yolanda at Deeper Still? We talked about you a little. (all good) :) She was telling me how you all met in person in Colorado.
Yolanda is precious.

I can't wait to meet you in Jan. as well.

Have a great weekend!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

How much time have I wasted on my regrets?! Gracious, you're completely right; it robs me of the joy God intends for my life.

I'm glad that Melissa is doing better; perhaps by Christmas she'll be in better shape to enjoy all the festivities. I don't have to guess what you're thankful about this Christmas season.

LIFE. Glorious life in the LIFE.


Joan Carr said...

So glad to hear the Melissa is making progress and getting better. God is so good.

I am glad that I am not the only that feels like I take one step forward, then two backwards. I wonder if I will ever learn, but i am so thankful that God is longsuffering.

valerie said...

I sent you an e-mail about the Houston trip. :)

sanjeet said...

We go back to Mayo on the 21st with our appt on the 22nd for my knee.

Work from home India