“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
It’s funny that things don’t ever seem to go as planned. We can have preconceived ideas in our mind about the way things will take place. We can even try to fit things into a certain formula. But truth is, things are going to happen the way God intends and the way God ordains. We don’t always understand them. We don’t always agree with them. We don’t always like them. His way is not our way. His way is the only way.
Two years ago when Ashlie had Bryton, she was only 17 years old. His birth was not the birth that we had all envisioned. He was early. He was born face-up. He was born with a lung infection. He was born with some heart problems. These things are not things I would have chosen for my daughter’s first entrance into motherhood. She didn’t even get to hold him before they whisked him off to the NICU where he stayed 7 days. It seems like when he was in there, everything that could go wrong did. His kidneys wouldn’t work. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t seem to breathe without having episodes of apnea. He couldn’t regulate his temperature. But through it all, God was in control. God had mercy upon that precious little boy and he overcame every obstacle that was thrown his way. He is now an adorable, sweet, wonderful 2 year old.
Ashlie handled that situation with such grace. She handled it better than I think most 17 year olds could have handled things. She handled it better than her mother did!
I prayed that she wouldn’t have to endure that again. That moment of terrifying uncertainty when you know there is something going on with your baby, but you have no idea what it is. I wanted her to have the “normal” birth experience where you get to hold your baby right away and in a few hours you are able to nurse them and spend time with them. She wanted that too. Very badly.
But that is not what God had planned for her. Even though things didn’t go as WE had hoped - the way they DID go, didn’t surprise God. He knew what would take place. He also gave Ashlie (and the rest of us) the strength that was needed to endure this trying time once more.
Sawyer came into this world ‘sunny-side up’ just like his big brother did. It makes the birth a little harder. When he came out he was looking straight up at the doctor. But he also had fluid coming out of his mouth and his nose. When I heard him attempt to cry, I knew then something was not right. He just couldn’t get his lungs cleared out and was having trouble breathing. So off to NICU he went. Once again, Ashlie didn’t get to hold her newborn baby. She didn’t get to have that experience of cuddling with her little boy. Instead, she had to wait until they got him stable. Then she was able to go see him for about 15 minutes. She was able to look at him, but she couldn’t hold him. She couldn’t feed him. She couldn’t do all the things that mothers want to do for their babies. All the things that mothers are supposed to do for their babies.
But through it all, we have learned to lean on God for our strength. We have learned that when things don’t go as WE planned, it’s time to let go and let God take the reigns. It’s time to put our faith into practice. It’s time to make our theology our reality.
God is so good. He is my strength. He is my refuge. He is the Lord of my life.
I praise Him for His goodness and His mercy. I praise Him that Sawyer is doing so well. I praise Him that things that could have happened didn’t. I praise Him that Ashlie had a safe delivery and is doing fine. I praise Him that even though he is still on a little oxygen, he is breathing so much better. I praise Him that Ashlie and Cody got to hold him for the first time this afternoon. I praise Him that she will get to feed him for the first time in the morning. I praise Him for the many prayers that have gone up for Sawyer.
He is worthy of our praise.
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