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Friday, February 27, 2009

Conviction took a Flying Leap

I was doing my bible study last night and I experienced something that I wasn't too proud of. As I got to a passage of scripture, conviction just flew off that page like it was on fire, and just almost knocked me to the ground.

I had just been on the computer for the first time since posting that morning and I noticed that there hadn't been much activity on my page. I also noticed that I had lost a reader :(. I am going to be brutally honest here - for just a brief moment, my heart hurt. I thought - "oh, my, what did I do wrong?" I even wondered if I should even continue to blog! I was just sorta down and out and I didn't stay on the computer very long. I was acting pitiful. Just pitiful.

I took a hot bath. I had been for my yearly woman's check-up AND to the dentist that day, so I desperately needed a bath. You know how I love a hot bath. Well, then I went to my desk to read God's Word and pray. Here's what jumped right out of the bible at me - talking about the Pharisees in John 12:43:

"for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God"

Whoa.. Oh, my.. did I ever hang my head in shame. Was I putting more stock into the praises of men? I immediately dropped my head onto the pages of my bible and confessed right then and there.

My desire and my purpose is ONLY to bring glory to my precious savior. I want nothing more than to minister to the hearts of others, just as all of you minister to my heart each day. Nothing I do is for my vain glory. I can't make it about me. I so desire to use this venue to bring myself and others closer to Him.

I want to increase my commitment to Him, deepen my knowledge of Him, broaden my love for Him and share my testimony about Him.

Thank you precious Lord for keeping my feet on the right path. Your Word never fails to give me the direction I need. May I always remember that my purpose is You.

It's not about the world. It's not about me. It's about JESUS.

Beth

12 comments:

beckyjomama said...

Beautifully said ... which is why I remain a faithful reader!!!

Lisa said...

I've fallen into the same trap before and had the same conversation with God. I have to remind myself regularly that it's all about Him and not about me.

(There is an issue going on with followers right now due to a software conversion going on behind the scenes. When some accounts are converted their following status gets changed from "public" to "private" which causes them to no longer display - but they are still following".)
Maybe that's what happened here.

Misty said...

What a wonderful post...thanks for the reminder! :o)

Siesta OC said...

Well said - I have struggled so with this as well.
I got caught up as well with the how-many-comments-do-I-have syndrome. How pathetic! But God is so patient with me (us) and let's me know subtley, "focus on me, I don't or won't let you down, I am where you are content and satisfied."

Blessings Siesta in Him who never stresses nor guesses,

Siesta OC

Edie said...

I totally understand this Beth. I have to watch myself carefully. I take things personally too easily and automatically think I've done something wrong or offended someone. Great reminder.

Denise said...

What a simple reminder to focus our attention on the One who really matters!

Blessings,
Denise

Jensmere said...

Bless you, Beth! You hit the nail on the head! We love having followers, but we are the ones to be doing the following...following our Lord and Saviour! He gives us online friends to cheer us, but it is His FAVOR that means everything.

Thank you so much for your prayers! You are a special lady!
Susan

Terri Tiffany said...

Beth,
Thank you for visiting my blog. You are so right! Your grandson does look like mine. Mine is 1 1/2 and it was his first cut.
I have gotten so I don't look at my counter anymore and figure God will bring who He will for his reasons. Thank you for such a good reminder to us all!

Yolanda said...

Beth,

This echo's my own heart and the very concerns and reasons behind Higher Grounds...simply to point hurting women to MY LORD AND SAVIOR that HE would become the lover of their souls. Because if being brutally honest of where I've been, where I am currently and where I am headed.

Lovingly,
Yolanda

Beth E. said...

This is a great post...and so very true! I have been guilty of becoming upset over losing a follower or two. Forgive me, Lord!

Thank you so much for a very timely message.

Blessings...
Beth E.

Deanna said...

been there! you are not alone. thankfully we have a loving and gentle God who won't let us stay there (or i might be stuck). thanks for being real :O)

blessings!!! deanna
think i might take a hot bath, now that ya mention it, it is is actually chilly today in FL ???

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Oh friend, we've all had our blog issues. I've certainly had mine and felt many a time like quitting...even today! It's hard to pen our hearts, and when our intent is to pen God's also, then we will certainly know the full throttle attack of the enemy. Our silence is of little worry to him, but once we put voice to the stirrings of our heart, Satan will enter at every angle to bring discouragement on so many fronts.

I've lost readers. It used to bother me, but now I don't care. I don't follow blogs because I don't have time to read my reader. It confuses me. I'd just rather hop around from time to time to catch a post.

Keep to it, faithful pilgrim. God is using you in the lives of people who might not otherwise be touched by the kingdom. You carry it with you wherever you go.

Thanks for checking in. Like you, I want to be a sacred seed sower.

All for Him, sister. All for Him.

peace~elaine